he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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