yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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