Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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