So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize