Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
