Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
