Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
