so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
