I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I party with great urgency now.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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