I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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