tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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