dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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