Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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