i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
