Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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