I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i need an iv and a liver transplant
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just want nice things and good sex
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
