Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
as a side note pls kill me
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
