yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
