At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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