Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
