I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Pants are for mortals
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
