k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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