He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
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Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
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Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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