last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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