i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
