when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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