i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
