I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
