Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
