he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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