i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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