I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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