i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
