I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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