did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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