He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
