I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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