Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
