I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
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Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
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I think weed is turning my hair brown
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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