oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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