Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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