therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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