YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
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