i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize