When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
