so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
