new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize