Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
