Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I will die if light touches me.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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