Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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