Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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