i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
