oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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