I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
