D3 body, D1 cock
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
