I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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