I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Operation Purity has been aborted
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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