Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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