Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
