they need to just BURY HIM!
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
