He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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