my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
