They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
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