this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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