The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i love accidental penises.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Randomize
