his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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