she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
